Of friends and families, a lesson for Yaya

I had several heart to heart talked with Yaya last week and a week before. Of late I saw Yaya a bit quiet and kept to herself a lot. Plus she was under the weather a week ago, and not able to attend school for a couple of days. According to her, she is unhappy, in a way. Actually she is happy, but not quite like she is back at home. I know she misses home a lot. So we had a long chat, trying hard to teach her a lesson or two about life at the same time. Eventually, she looked happy after we talked about it. I realised we have not spending a lot of time together lately,  and might be the reason for this.

One of the chat we had is about her getting along at school. One day I was curious with whom she had lunch with everyday. I was shocked when she said nobody. This is the 2nd term of school, and yet she still has difficulty in making friends. I knew from the beginning, when she started schooling early this year, that she might face communication problem. Although she had attended kindy and prep here, and that was a year ago before she had to return home and continue schooling at her kampung. A year away, and she had neglected this second language. Malay is the medium of communication back home, though at school she learnt English and her grandparents frequently speak English, but the environment makes her feel more comfortable speaking in our mother tongue.

Quite surprising I was, of coz, because when we first arrived here, she adapted to this foreign environment easily. In fact, her first day at the kindy, she survived without me around. I had to leave her as I had to attend a class. Within a month, she spoke English, with oz slang without any hesitation. And when we went home in year 2008 to celebrate Eid, she faced problem speaking in Malay. I remembered a scene at a playground, when Yaya tried to speak to other children and making friends, she tried her best to talk to them, in English, and there was a kid who said, "Apa la budak nie cakap..." Poor Yaya. However, she kept trying to make the conversation, and eventually she managed to join in.

But things have changed. Now she is too shy to speak, and from the talk we had, I discovered that her major problem with making friends at school is communication. She is afraid to talk to people because she is unable to speak better. She has no problem with English. She can speak good English, but what she is lacking is the capacity to deliver it confidently. Her shy overcomes her confident thus lead to fear. Plus she said, "all her classmate have their own group of friends, I don't know how to talk to them". I said to her that your classmates have known each other a long time before you were here, of course they talked and walked together and be with each other almost all the time. But if you don't walk up to them and introduce yourself, they will never know you. So I teach her a trick. The trick is, smile and introduce yourself. "Say Hi! My name is Aleeya. You can call me Yaya. Can I sit with you?" In my heart, hope this will work for her.

Another thing that I told Yaya is, the value of friendship. Actually am not a good person to give advise about friendship. I had a handful of experiences with friends, both good and bad. So I told yaya, friends are important, but not as important as your family. Friends can come and go, but only a good one remains and understand you in and out. A good friend is not easy to find. And when you found one, try your very best to maintain the relationship. I also shared word of wisdom given by my grandpa to my mom and her siblings, "Lakunya kamu kerana laku kamu". Meaning, people will accept you of who you are, just be yourself, and don't pretend to be someone you are not. After all you can never please everybody.

However, the one relationship to protect most is, between you and your family. Because
these are the people who will always be with you no matter what, through thick and thin, and accept you in what shape you are in. These are the people who will support you in anyway they can. These are the people who will pray for your success, health and hope that you will under Allah's blessing all the time. This was the serious talk I had with yaya, in fact it was the first one. I didn't know how much she can digest, but very hope she gets the message.

Sigh.... it really has been a very long time since I last sat down with yaya, and asked her how is she getting along. A very long time since I last gave my full attention to her. My fault really, been busy with the work. I took a lot of things for granted. And I regretted it. Try my best to NOT repeat it again.

I know Mother's Day has gone weeks ago, but I want to share you a gift that I received from Yaya on Mother's Day.

A keychain that she made at school. The school provided the keychain to all student studying at Ironside State School. So Yaya wrote a message on a piece of paper and inserted it into the keychain. She did asked for a few dollars to buy me something from the Mother's Day stalls held at her school. But I refused and say that she doesn't have to buy me anything. A prayer for my health and success is the most precious gift for me. I don't need a special day to celebrate, everyday is a mother's day for me, because I got to spend my day with my two lil' princesses, the best gifts that Allah has bestowed upon me.

Before ending this long entry, I would like to thank everyone who has been following my blog and left comments be it an advise or opinion or just to say hi. Thank you thank you thank you. I appreciate all the friendship started from this blog and hope we will remain friend forever.

p.s. When this post is published, Yaya has making progress in developing friendship. She now has a group of friend to have lunch with everyday.


yours truly,